Humor will appear here as soon as we come across any!

August 16…National Tell a Joke Day!!
jokes
Arrr arr..

“I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.”

“He liked fishing and seemed to take pride in being able to like such a stupid occupation.”

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey…but I turned myself around.

  • “Knock, knock.”
    • “Who’s there?”
    • “Alabama.”
    • “Anybody with you?”
    • “Nope. I’m Alabama self.“
  • Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

August 12

This cowboy walks into a bar.

His hat is made of brown wrapping paper, his shirt and vest are made of waxed paper, and his chaps, pants, and boots are made of tissue paper. Pretty soon they arrest him for rustling.

August 4

Two Guys Small Biz

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store’s merchandise wasn’t in — only a few shelves and display racks set up.

One said to the other, “I’ll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, “What are you selling here?”

One of the men replied sarcastically, “We’re selling assholes.”

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, “You must be doing well. Only two left!

Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.” 

Oscar Wilde
August 4

This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent.”

The doctor says “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”

The next week the lady goes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly.”

“Good”, the doctor said, “now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing.”

August 4

Why WOMEN tend to live longer than MEN.