Arr, arr Now That’s Funny

I am looking for my new found joke list. It is the one that reminds you of all the jokes you forget. Or maybe its one liners today, mini quotes. List of jokes to come if you see none below. Or comebacks and more.

I sold our vacuum cleaner; it was just gathering dust.


“I misjudged you… You’re not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.” –

Hemmingway


“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Alabama.”

“Anybody with you?”

“Nope. I’m Alabama self.


Did you hear the joke about experiencing déjà vu? Did you hear the joke about experiencing déjà vu?


Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.


A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”


What does “idk” stand for? Everyone I ask says, “I don’t know.”


Did you hear the one about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit.


A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”